at the threshold
by naojv
Summary: He ghosts his thumb over her cheek and tells her he's so sorry he couldn't be the strong one.


He hasn't been around in a while, so she can't quite remember what it feels like to have his eyes on her while she moves, or the heaviness of the air when it's full of all the words they won't say, but she can recall his lips on hers and sometimes, it's almost enough to keep her from missing him.

When he finally returns she stands awkwardly in the doorway and asks him where he had gone, why he hadn't told her, why he stayed so long. He tells her Klaus is dead, and she moves aside to let him in. He's not even across the threshold when she throws her arms around him in happiness and gratefulness and because he looks like maybe he needs it. She makes a mental note not to forget the feeling of his body pressed against hers.

He hesitates for a moment before returning the embrace and pulling her tight, tightly to him. She thinks she feels him trembling.

* * *

><p>When she pushes him to tell her what happened he ignores her, brushes her off, evades the question or outright tells her drop it. One day she pushes a little too hard and he yells, in a way she's never heard directed at her before. She's almost angry until she sees the tears in her eyes, and then she just pulls him close and lets her shirt soak up everything he can't tell her.<p>

She doesn't bring it up again.

* * *

><p>One moment Caroline is innocently inquiring about whether or not either of them have heard from Stefan, and the next she is painfully thrown against the wall, held in place by Damon's hand at her throat. Elena tries to talk him into calming down but he can't seem to hear her, and everything freezes until Elena reaches out and gently pulls his hand away.<p>

She holds it between her own and raises it to her lips telling him that she knows, she knows.

* * *

><p>She calls Caroline later to apologize for Damon, and Caroline is silent on the other end for a long time.<p>

They both cry together that night.

* * *

><p>He hasn't been answering her calls all day so she goes to the boarding house in search of him. He's in his room staring at the wall of maps and news clippings and she is overcome with the sensation that all of that was a long, long time ago.<p>

She takes his hand and leads him to the bed where they lie down wordlessly. She runs her fingers through his hair and whispers to him everything she can remember about the times they've danced together, until finally, he falls asleep.

* * *

><p>They take to spending their nights together after that. Sometimes she'll find him in her room and sometimes she'll go to his, but either way, neither of them ever wake up in the middle of the night without a warm body in the bed next to them, and a hand reaching out for theirs.<p>

* * *

><p>She wakes up early one morning to find him already wide awake, staring at the ceiling but not really seeing anything. When she says his name he turns to her slowly, and absently brushes hair behind her ear with small, lost smile.<p>

He ghosts his thumb over her cheek and tells her he's so sorry he couldn't be the strong one. When he leans over and kisses her, it's so careful and chaste that she's sure he's thinking one of them might break. Maybe both.

After just a few fragile moments he pulls away and they both fall back asleep, her head tucked under his chin and his heart beating right against hers.

* * *

><p>When the time comes to apply to college she sits down at her table with a pen in one hand and complete confliction in the other. She gets her first name down on the first page before she decides that none of this will ever be an option for her.<p>

He walks in just in time to see her drop the pen and cover her face with her hands. He comes from behind and leans over to gently put the pen back in her fingers, and press a slow kiss to her neck. She feels his breath linger there for a moment and then he straightens up, walks away; gone.

* * *

><p>It seems to take forever and no time at all for the letter to arrive, white and crisp. She sits on her bed and opens it alone, reading it several times before she picks up her phone and asks him to come over, please. It's important.<p>

She wordlessly hands it to him and the only words he sees are 'accepted' and 'Ohio'. He doesn't say anything but once his eyes meet hers, she doesn't need him to.

She stands up and moves towards him, taking the letter out of his hands and letting it drop to the floor. She puts her arms around his waist and whispers into his chest that she'd never go without him.

She feels his lips in her hair before he nods, and her eyes fill with tears of joy, sadness and healing. She kisses him then, her hands on his face and in his hair and she's confident that this time, neither of them will break.

He slowly pushes her backward until they fall onto the bed, and somewhere between sheets and blankets and skin, there is laughter.

* * *

><p>He never does tell her what happened with Klaus, but every time he pauses in front of the picture of Stefan hanging in their new apartment, she thinks understands a little bit more.<p>

And every time she wakes up in the middle of the night to a hand reaching out for hers, she knows she does.


End file.
